A month or so ago, I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine over coffee.  I knew that she and her other half had planned to try for another baby when her son was old enough to start reception.  Well, that is coming up this September so I smiled at her and said "So are you going to have any news for us yet?"

She shook her head and said "No they are still doing the consultation" Turns out she was speaking about the possibility of her job changing.

 After correcting her with a dirty grin she told me that they hardly got the chance to do that!"

I knew right then what she was going to say, so sure in fact that I started to giggle.

 "Not with that child of ours in bed with us!"

 I knew what she was talking about. 

Due to the size of our last flat our eldest sleep with us until he was 3.  In fact we moved him into the spare room when I was pregnant with his brother, so that he wouldn't feel the baby was pushing him out of his place in our bed.  I call it a spare room even though it was basically a storage room, come second lounge for when he was sleeping. It was near the back door so people could pop out for a quick smoke into our positively tiny patio.  So we moved him out, but he still came into bed with us....Every night.  He came in even after the baby was born, which made it difficult to just breastfeed in bed during the night.  I would have to roll down to the bottom of the bed with the baby (as my side of the bed was up against his cot) and try to , in a pitch black room, negotiate my way in the small gap between the bed and the radiator, which was always dotted with sharp little toys for my feet to find. Then I would have to turn in order to scuttle between the dresser and my husbands corner of the bed so that I would not knock him into the TV on said dresser.

I would then freeze in the lounge as I would forget to bring a blanket and didn't want to leave the baby on his own, on the couch, to go and get one.  All of this, just to not wake my extremely (compared to me) well rested husband and my son who had snatched my bed away from me.  I finally got more peace when I stopped breastfeeding and had the wonderful idea to move them in together.  Worked like a charm.  Every night, blissful, with just the husband and I in our very big feel bed.  I have to say that they only started coming back into our bed at night since we moved and they each have their own room on different floors.  We are considering moving them back together again.

I was able to reassure her that it wouldn't last forever, but as he is almost four and still doing it she might consider having to bite the bullet and try a night where she has prepared herself to stay up all night and just keep putting him back into his bed. 

But of course there are people that don't have to do it.  It is those lucky people who children just naturally sleep.  I have a friend, with a girl, that I met at the mother and baby group my health visitor pushed me into attending when my darling first son was 5 weeks old and was sucking the life out of me.  (He was a very good breast feeder to the point that he would continuously empty both sides in one feed.  She also encouraged me to start weaning him as he was so hungry at the same time.)  Her daughter 99% of the time went down to bed with no crying and was usually asleep, on her own, very fast.  She has always gone to bed at 7 every night and doesn't wake up at 5am.  Drives me nuts and I'd like to say I now hated her, but she is still a darling friend of mine.

My friend (the first one I was talking about) hung her head and said "I know I have to do it, but it is so hard."

I know it is. 

I then decided to point out that I shouldn't really give her any advice. The week before I had one or the other in our bed every night and my eldest is 8.  I am just as bad, but I have to admit.......I love it and wouldn't change it for the world.