I thought that might get your attention. It’s surely one of the things that I (and other bad dads and mums out there) least want to talk to our children about. With Will now aged 9 and Harriet now 6, things are getting to the stage where the problem is deciding what to tell them, how to tell them, and when.

But here’s what happened last week. We were all in the car, me driving, with Mrs BD and the two sprogs, having picked them up from holiday club.

Incidentally, my personal top tip for talking to your kids about sex is do so while driving  – you can keep your eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead which, as you will read, can be a blessing.

William piped up. “Mum, it was really funny today at snack time.”

“Why’s that love?”

“Someonehad a piece of shortbread with chocolate on. And it was shaped like a willy –we were all laughing about it!”

(Sniggers from both occupants of rear seats. Occupants of front seats fix eyes incredibly firmly on road.)

“I wonder what it tasted like. Mum – have you ever tasted a willy?”

Stifled snort/choking from driver.

“No Dear.” says Mummy.

Further increasingly desperate stifled snort from driver who thought he might explode with laughter at any moment.

So to tackle this head on I did what any responsible parent would do.

I turned the radio on to listen to the test match.