One of our responsibilities as parents is to educate our children about how the world works. This election seemed like a good opportunity to give them a lesson in democracy.

Oh dear. What sort of stupid idea was that? It started simply enough. Still flushed with pride from his marathon efforts two weeks ago, I decided to tackle Labour and Conservative parties first.

“Well darling, this is the left-wing party because – “

“But they are not on the left Daddy.”

“No, it’s just an expression.”

“Why?”

“Mhrfwfsareqqwdf”, I mumbled clearly. I decided to try a different tack.

“Gordon Brown and David Cameron are both trying to become Prime Minister by winning the election.”

“I thought Gordon Brown was already the Prime Minister.”

“Well, yes, he is but they have to have a new election every few years.”

“So did Gordon Brown win the last election then?”

“Yes. Um, no. Actually, Tony Blair did. But then he left and gave the job to Gordon Brown.”

“Why?”

Mhrfwfsareqqwdf”. Time for another angle, clearly.

“The Conservative party are the ones you see in the blue,and the Labour party are in red.”

“Is that like at football so you can tell them apart?”

“No, Er, actually yes, it is very like that.”

“Do they have an away strip then?”

“No. “

“So, how do you choose?”

Ah. Safer ground, surely.

“Well, everyone gets a ballot paper with the names of all the candidates on. Then you put an X next to the one you like and – “

“Why a X? My teacher puts a tick when she likes my answer and an X when she doesn’t.”

“Yes, well that’s the rules. Anyway, you fold your paper up and put it into a big black box and then someone takes it to the town hall and then they count all the votes to see who has won.”

Silence. Perhaps I have finally made a sensible point.

“Isn’t that a waste of time? Why don’t they just do itonline like on websites and stuff?”

Mhrfwfsareqqwdf”.

“So whoever gets the most votes is the winner?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“And they choose the new rules?”

“Well, sort of. They choose which rules they would like to pass and then all the MPs vote on it.”

“Cool.” (Pause). “Please can we go to Macdonalds?”

“No.”

(To little sister sitting in back of car) “What do you think Harriett?”

“Macdonalds – yeah!”

“No.”

“But we got two votes. You only have one.”

Democracy. Gotta love it.